Boundaries: A Lifeline for Givers

Have you ever found yourself drained at the end of a day, having met everyone's needs but your own? It's a familiar tale for "givers" – the generous souls who instinctively put others first, often at the expense of their own wellbeing. Whether for family, friends, or colleagues, your empathy and kindness know no bounds. Yet, this very nature can lead you down the path to exhaustion. Setting boundaries isn't just a skill; it's a necessity for your sustainability.

Being a giver is like holding a lantern in the dark. You illuminate the way for others, but in doing so, your own light can dim if you don't refuel. Sometimes, the drive to help can push you into zones of self-neglect.

In the midst of supporting others, it's vital to remember that you aren't an infinite source of energy. There's wisdom in acknowledging when your body's signals tell you to pause and recharge. Your brain may not be listening, but your body is begging you to reconsider. Listen to both.

Givers often struggle with saying "no," as if it's an action strictly reserved for those who lack empathy. Yet, saying "no" is not a rejection of others; it's a commitment to yourself. By establishing boundaries, you create a space in which you can thrive without the constant threat of overgiving and burnout. You will also feel recharged and able to give more. Your needs as a giver are important too, and when you also get what you need, you are able to give even more.
 

Boundaries are the guardrails that protect your emotional energy. One of the hardest things for givers, is creating boundaries and sticking to them. The people who are used to all your help and support may not like it - after all, it helped and benefitted them. You may get comments around "what's wrong with you" because it interrupts their needs. We are all creatures of habit, so when you create a "new normal" there will be some resistance. 

But stay firm. You deserve self-care and support too, and if they genuinely care for you, they will adjust. The important thing is to be consistent, and not go back because you feel guilty that they are impacted or don't like it. 

Boundary setting is never easy. Resetting boundaries is even harder. But it can be done. It's something we all deserve and need.